You might tell already that I don’t like this man and you’ll be spot on. For he comes to my home town (as the real ‘Boss’ Bruce Springstein sings so beautifully) and lays the law down to me and last night you saw a replica of a few short years ago when Didier Drogba and co. attacked the referee, who retired through death threats – traumatic stuff. In Columbia they shoot the bad guy, only he did nothing wrong; well, nothing that referees don’t do every week in this country. How about the sending-off last night, absolutely diabolical, but it was a blessing in disguise as PSG attacked in a very different way from Drogba (and now Diego Costa) and his mates, they attacked with style and grace with what they shout out in Afghanistan as ‘Man Down.’ After all, it’s only a game, no matter what the great Bill Shankly said. It all begins and ends “Upstairs” and after Gordon Jackson being named after yours truly in that programme, it has now brought new meaning to the show and is quite apt, to become: “Upstairs, Downstairs”. And yeah, Tommy Baldwin’s mother is still in the kitchen, and it is a true story that the scriptwriter came up with our two names, a man I met at a Stoke City match on the day they reached the Premiership. If Mears, with the helping hand of Sexton, was hell bent on tearing apart the heart of our team, Bates (the farmer from Wigan) took it one step further by wanting to electrocute his loyal fans, those who followed us from Upton Park to Athens and slept on the beaches, without two pennies to rub together. Maybe Bates and Buck might have been the best combination because over the Pond, they “Fry” the guilty, Ted Bundy springs to mind, the man who taunted Seattle like Bruce Anderson did me. Now, you see why I cannot get a job on your TV screens, ‘The Devil’s Advocate’ is no devil, he is the devil seeker and last night it all appeared on the surface of the pitch I grew up on, with Peter Osgood (The King) and Charlie Cooke (The Prince) with Sponge, Mrs. Baldwin bringing up the rear, when called upon so bravely. You would not see Sponge behave like, Diego, because he respected the shirt, and that said is why he kicked Terry Cooper all over Old Trafford – well he would have if it come to it. I was asked just yesterday by Frank MacDonald, by Email, “Was the Seattle Sounders too physical on Sunday” and my reply was, “Not at all, they showed great aggression, something we have lost in our game. Over here now it a game for Nancy’s and Pussies, and that is why everyone is diving around like the late Brian Phelps.  Give me Chelsea v Leeds United 1970. So, onto Abramovich with all that money, the man who got involved in football after watching the mighty Real Madrid and has tried to follow suit by bringing to Chelsea what Pele calls ‘The Beautiful Game’ well, if that was beautiful I would not like to see the ‘Ugly’ side of his team, although I’ve experienced that side of his Football Club. Enter PSG, a team I never gave a hope in my pre-match discussion in the Golden Lion, yeah I cannot get a ticket through Buck, and through the ignorance of the ‘Man in Black’ all hell let loose as Chelsea were like the ‘Klu Klux Klan’ without masks. The French team were a class apart and really won the match for the Chelsea penalty was more like an own goal by the man who eventually put them through. The handball was childish, and it had me thinking if Chelsea’s earlier antics had rubbed off on him? Even the man who got sent-off (can’t spell his name this early in the morning) added afterward that “I pulled out of the tackle, and all I could see were Chelsea players jumping about like babies.” Well, that was how they played. So the Chelsea fan, although not the ones that Bates wanted to ‘Fry’, left like their team, with nothing between their legs and nothing to look forward to in Europe for quite some time. Something that even had Jose Mourinho clutching in space for the very first time, and if you want to try to make some of your usual excuse, I say, “No Way, Jose” this time round.